My Stupid Bank Wants To Charge Me $15 To Use My Own Money

These stupid fees are getting out of control anymore.

“Why fifteen bucks? Because fuck ’em, that’s why. Now, who wants another brandy?” (Source: Midjourney)

A few days ago I received a notice from my bank that the terms of my checking account are changing soon. In the bank’s own words:

A $15 monthly account fee will be charged, unless you maintain a $5,000 average monthly account balance¹. The first monthly fee will be charged on November 30, 2024 for monthly balances held during the month.

I’ve been banking with this place for over six years now. I use my checking account almost exclusively through them. I also have two of my IRAs, two personal brokerage accounts, and a savings account. Altogether, I have a six figure amount combined just with this one financial institution.

Previously, all I needed in order to avoid a $15 fee was to meet any of the following criteria:

You had set up a direct deposit of $200 or more per month to your account.

You maintained a $5,000 average monthly balance in your account.

You maintained a $50,000 average monthly balance in any of your linked (name of bank)) account(s).

You had a combined $50,000 or more in linked (name of bank) from (name of bank) brokerage accounts.