“I’ve Been in Therapy Since I Was Six”

The sad trend of becoming a weepy widget in the feelings factories of Big Therapy, Inc.

Me dismissing my therapist due to his total lack of physique.

Lately, YouTube has become stricter with accounts that use Adblock, preventing some videos from being played, or even slowing down performance. This happens sometimes even after you’ve disabled Adblock for a video and refreshed the screen, as for some reason Adblock will still default back to its ON setting.

It’s maddening, frustrating, and makes watching YouTube a painful process, as you’re forced to constantly reload videos. It’s a human rights violation as far as I’m concerned. Now I may end up having to subscribe to YouTube Premium, which is likely the ulterior intent of all this technical trip wiring.

In the meanwhile, I’m getting smacked around by tons of ads, including one for a therapy company called BetterHelp that really stuck out to me. It shows a young woman doing an amateur vlog-style video where she starts off saying, “I’ve been in therapy since I was six.”

I found this shocking and ridiculous. Why the hell would someone need to be in therapy at that young an age? I can barely remember when I was six. The only things I needed in life then were cartoons, frozen push-pops, my stuffed animals, hanging out with my friends and girlfriend (yes, I actually had one at that tender age and our first date was watching Pinocchio together at her house), and going to the video rental store to pick out a new movie every week. I don’t remember ever feeling the need to discuss my feelings with some v-sweatered stranger in a room with potted plants, and looking back on myself at that age as a mature adult, I’m glad I didn’t.

However, the young woman (whom I’ll call Therapy Lady) in the ad seems quite overjoyed to say she’s been in therapy for decades, and gives off a programmed happy vibe. She looks to be in her mid-twenties, probably college-educated, very conversant, almost certainly Westernized. White or possibly mixed, not that it matters. Likely from the middle-class. No visible handicaps or disabilities.

Therapy Lady doesn’t mention legit trauma, or some justifiable and/or understandable reason for why she’s been in counseling sessions since before smartphones existed. It’s not like she…