I Sure Hope I Don’t Catch ‘Sudden Wealth Syndrome’

You think being broke and destitute is bad? This is far worse.

Dollar sign lesions. One of the first symptoms of this horrible new disease. (Made with Midjourney)

Forget Covid. Forget Monkeypox. Don’t even think about H.I.V. or Ebola. There’s a new pandemic threatening to strike soon. It’s called ‘“Sudden Wealth Syndrome.” What’s that, you ask? A recent Yahoo Finance article explains:

Sudden wealth syndrome is a real challenge for people who suddenly get a lot of money. Children who inherit enormous sums or receive unexpected wealth may experience overwhelming anxiety and uncertainty about what to do with all of their newfound income.

I don’t know about you, but that sounds downright terrifying. I once found $200 on the ground as a kid and I had to be hospitalized for six weeks due to acute shock. I couldn’t even imagine the impact of a million dollar windfall on my fragile psyche. Surely, that would kill me. I’m no longer worried about bleeding blood from my eyes, losing my immune system, or being covered in puss-filled lesions, I’m worried about waking up every morning with eight figures in my bank account.

So, what’s driving this new epidemic? Is there anyway to avoid this scourge? Or are we all doomed?

Well, as it turns out, Sudden Wealth Syndrome, will likely only effect the super wealthy. More specifically…