Dear Broke Old Men Knocking Up Young Women In South East Asia: You’re Not Mick Jagger

Cradle-robbing, wrinkly, and penniless sad sacs are giga-generating single moms and fatherless kids in SEA. That is some bullshit right there.

For a guy who sings about not getting any satisfaction, Rolling Stones frontman, the legendary (and knighted) Mick Jagger actually has eight kids. His latest, named Deveraux Octavian Basil Jagger, arrived back in 2016 when the singer was freaking 73 years old. At the time his partner, American ballerina Melanie Hamrick, was 29 years old.

To that I say, good for you, buddy. With the population plummeting across most of the world, we need stone cold Sperminator’s like the old Mickster firing on all cylinders, so to speak. Afterall, the guy’s got to be a billionaire at this point. He’s been a rock and roll legend for over five decades. If he croaks tomorrow, he’ll be leaving an enormous estate to his wife and children. I bet each of his kids already has a $50M+ trust fund in their name ready to go for fast cars, vintage clothing, and high-quality blow, or whatever it is trust fund babies get up to these days.

While a massive pile of cash can never replace your one and only father, it certainly goes very far in securing…